Write Now!
This blog started as a 'Lenten Writing Project', where we wrote each day in Lent. Now that Summer is here, let's keep up the discipline of writing with a weekly writing challenge! A prompt will be posted each week and anyone is welcome to join in and post their writing here or participate just by reading it.
Every writer has their own special light to add to this blog and all of your writing offerings are appreciated, whether poetry, prose, essay, thoughts, lists or comments and encouragement.
Rules For Lent
ReplyDelete....sacrificiaL
introspectivE
...meditatioN
.........intenT
s.h.
Fond Memories
ReplyDeleteby Pat Mason
This made me laugh. When I was a kid we were encouraged to clean our plates. Problem was, I was a very picky eater as a child. Food should not touch, certain flavors did not go together, but ketchup? Ketchup went with everything! Still does. Mealtime was not usually my favorite time because of the pressure of eating everything we had been served.
As a result I never forced my own kids to eat something they did not like. Mealtime was less stressful for this next generation and I was happier too.
Funny thing, now there are very few foods I don't like, I love flavors all mixed together and I've learned to control my ketchup obsession.
I guess that's maturity, right?
Rules Stuff by Marlene Obie
ReplyDeleteI grew up in two different households within the same wider family so rules and what I learned are blended and reinvented.
Eat what you're served--but my aunt didn't force it if I insisted I didn't like something, usually it was something I hadn't tried and was afraid I might not like. I almost missed discovering her delicious homemade noodles and chicken, and I lost out by not trying my friend's mother's homemade raviolis for a long time. In the next setting, I was expected to eat what someone had taken the time to prepare.
Cleaning your plate--I smashed my boiled potatoes or vegies up and spread them around the plate so it would look like I'd eaten some, or took a big mouthful, went to the bathroom and spit them into the toilet. I lost many a restaurant meal in my stepfather's car after my mother insisted I continue eating after I was full.
Table rules for my kids were--eat something, try it, make your own, no fighting at the table. I didn't want mealtime to be for redressing their transgressions of the day.
"You can't eat that for breakfast" When making my lunch some mornings I'd sometimes make one tuna sandwich for lunch and eat one for breakfast. With my kids, we stuck mostly to the norm, usually they ate cereal every morning during the week. Now, we sometimes eat leftover pizza, leftover cake or pie from holiday or birthday dinners, etc. But "something healthy" should be included (protein, dairy to offset the other.
Don 't trust boys or men. They're only after one thing. I'll leave that one alone.
Don't share your most personal deep feelings or the family's dirty laundry publicly. Response to my book of prayers while raising three teenagers was interesting.
I asked Lana this morning what my rules were, and she couldn't remember any specific, but she said she got that the rule I lived by was "Love your kids, no matter what." Wow! Thanks be to God! and you Lana! But I remembered some.
Dirty clothes that weren't in the laundry chute would not get washed by me. If the clothes you had to wear for your band concert were under the bed, you had to wash them.
Neighborhood kids were always welcome to play at our house--then we knew what they were all doing.
People are more important than things!
Church Rules
Worship services in The Lutheran Church I attended through childhood was traditional. Communion not until Confirmation, communion attendance cards collected, etc. Those I've attended since have all been a little different, stretching and growing which I love. I'm expecting that worship in the next life will be a rule breaking, starbirthing, dancing celebration beyond our present comprehension.
Rules I aspire to live by: Golden Rule; Embrace change; Take care of myself; Be aware of other people's feelings. Try to see and understand where others are coming from and what they have experienced to make them as they are even when I think they are wrong. And acknowledge that I may not always be right. Let God be God. Who is worthy is not mine to say; I am not worthy.
Rules… from childhood… I have been thinking of this all day, and remembering some early ones: close the gate after you, come to supper, wear clean panties, wash your hands. I suppose I could come up with some useful metaphors for those rules, but the words aren’t coming to me.
ReplyDeleteSo I had a talk with my daughter over lunch, about some things she remembered, and what I learned is that she learned some things I didn’t intend to teach. I don’t really want to write about that just now.
Later, one of my daily readings said, “What is weighing us down? What is keeping us from being the best us?” I thought, yes! I can write about that.
I immediately recognized some things that are weighing me down: longing for a certain unreached level of perfection in myself and others; disappointment of my expectations for myself and others; fear of what people think of me fear of rejection, pride – a false pride that all too often is afraid to risk being authentic, being real, just being me.
Where did those thoughts, fears or rules come from? I guess they are rules I somehow internalized – but what is the root?
Somehow, each of us carries some internal rules of who we are supposed to be, how we are supposed to act, what we are supposed to do. And that weighs us down and keeps up from being. BEING. Just being the person God made us to be, the person God loves and accepts, just as we are.
I hope during this time of Lent, to grow in my letting go; to let go of those ‘rules’ and more fully recognize God’s grace and unconditional love, just as I am.
One of the authors who influenced me the most is Thomas Merton. He wrote a lot about prayer. There is a great sense of freedom to his writings. Yet he chose to become a Trappist Monk and live under severe rules. They spend much of their lives in silence. Because he was in great demand as a speaker and the 'order' thought he was a good ambassador he spoke outside the monastery often. He then requested that they build a small primitive building outside the monastery where he would not only be in silence but would be alone. He lived with great contrasts and significant "rules" and somehow found it all helpful in communicating 'freedom' and 'grace'. The rules in his life fascinate me.
ReplyDeleteRules I grew up with:
ReplyDeleteI hate rules. Or at least I hate rules for me. I love making up rules for others. Part of the reason why is that I am a pastor’s kid, so I was always able to sidestep the rules and feel special. Not only that, but my dad went to seminary in Berkley in the 60’s and was quite a rule-bucker himself. So much so that we moved from church to church many times because we were never the family to just smile and be sweet. I was encouraged to buck the system - as long as it wasn’t my parent’s system. There, we had rules that were based sometimes on kindness and love and sometimes out of fear and bad experiences. Here are 25 rules and life lessons that I learned growing up…and also whether I intend to keep them and pass them on to my family or toss them into oblivion.
1. Hold hands and stick together (keep)
2. Moving is a chance to make a new start and be a new person (toss)
3. “I hate you” and “shut up” are just as bad as cuss words (keep)
4. Outside is a dangerous place (toss)
5. You can hate what someone does, but you don’t hate the actual person (keep)
6. Wear shoes in the house to protect your feet (toss)
7. Dress up for church because Jesus died on the cross and the least we can do is wear a tie, scratchy dress or control-top panty hose without complaining (keep – sort of…)
8. Be submissive to your husband (toss – sort of…)
9. Know when to do something audacious to help others. And do it without hesitation. (keep)
10. Be respectful to helpers: teachers, police officers, clergy, fire fighters, etc. (keep)
11. Be proud of all the Lutheran liturgy and hymns you have memorized and say them loudly (keep)
12. Sing without ceasing (keep)
13. Fear, distrust (try to toss…)
14. Pray before all meals, even if it’s just a quick whisper and a bowed head (*sigh* why didn’t I keep this one?)
15. Do NOT take the name of the Lord in vain (keep, even though I don’t do it. How did I end up with that bad habit?)
16. Read Everything (keep)
17. Volunteer for everything (*sigh*)
18. No dating until you’re 16 (Backfired for my parents... Maybe it will work for my kids…keep…)
19. Be interesting (keep)
20. Respect the LBW ‘Green Book’ (keep – what is that cranberry nonsense anyway??)
21. If you lie, your eyebrows will turn upside down and everyone will be able to tell you are lying (keep, even though my kids don’t fall for this. I, however, still believe it.)
22. Don’t be afraid to speak up and be heard…unless it is directly to someone you love and care about. (little bit of a lightbulb moment there…)
23. Value children, underdogs, people that are outcasts or ridiculed. They will most likely be 10 times more interesting to hang out with anyway. (keep, but not exactly in the same way…)
24. Mama’s gotta sleep in. You can either snuggle with her or go to daddy, who is making coffee in the kitchen and waiting for you to join him for Bugs Bunny and laughs. Either choice is good (How did my mom finagle that one? Maybe if I didn’t need coffee so badly in the morning I would sleep in too. Already tossed.)
25. Anger, sadness and other complicated emotions can be worked out in dance, writing, music or other arts. (Keep. Definitely.)
Fashion Plate
ReplyDeleteEven a warm, cozy, favorite sweater gets too confining eventually,
It fades and thins and unravels and falls away in pieces
Like the skin of a backyard lizard sunning himself on a rock,
His miniature lungs expanding against his sides
And the loose, comfortable warmth of his new argyle.
—Dave Patneaude
Black and White
ReplyDeleteMy rules as a child were clear and simple, black and white.
Be truthful, honest, trust worthy, obedient, and loving.
As I became older rules were based on protecting your reputation; as honestly modeled by by Mother and Father.
My Mother always told me "being a good girl and following the rules" would pay off.
Later, I thought she was naive and simple; after experiencing heart break, my world cracking apart, and observing hate and injustice.
After many years, I understand she was right in her beliefs. Trying to live my life as I was taught; does pay off. I sin knowing and unknowing; but I have no deep regrets.
My Mother also taught me about God's love, mercy, and grace. Those holy gifts have made my early tenets of black and white work in a world of gray.
DyAnn Dennie
Rules:
ReplyDeleteI don't recall any rules growing up. With six children in the family, maybe my parents learned early that rules just get broken. I felt loved and accepted and didn't have to worry about being disciplined for breaking any rules. I remember one summer night: I was going to sneak out of the house: (even tho my parents would have said I could go anyway): I put a chair by the window, took the screen off and fell asleep. I never woke up to sneak out. The next morning my mother was worried that someone had broken into the house. She told all the neighbors we had a burgular and talked about it all week. As she was getting ready to call the police I told her it was me. She said: "Next time if you are going to sneak out, remember to close the window behind you so someone else doesn't sneak in!". Even though we didn't have rules my mother's discipline was a simple glare across the room. That was enough! JackieD